In The Absence of The Boy
Years ago, I had a friend who was a single mom, and her duaghter spent a fair amount of time at the dad's house. Although I was sure that there were downsides to time-sharing one's kid, there was this small part of me that was just a litlle jelouse. Jelouse of the breaks, the "time-off" from all that mom's do. My son was a challenging baby, for a number of reasons, not the least of which being his health issues, and I never got a break. I was a full time, full-on mom from day one. I felt like it was all on me, long befor the Boy's father walked out on us. So, there was this part of me that imagined that one small upside of divorce would be shared custody: regularly scheduled child-free time. 2 years on, I am still not used to The Boy spending weekends away. I dont believe I will ever be used to it. My heart breaks every time. Every. Single. Time. Theres nothing to be done about it, no way around it, but there it is.